His Smile
by annonymouse
Summary: A smile is a smile. It's better than nothing, so I'll take what I can till one day I'll make him smile sincerely. -A Gojyo x Hakkai drabble


**Title;** His Smile  
**Author;** annonymouse  
**Disclaimer;** If I owned Saiyuki... Their world would be a little more screwed up... in every sense of the word  
**Summary;** A smile is a smile. It's better than nothing, so I'll take what I can till one day I'll make him smile sincerely. -A Gojyo x Hakkai drabble  
**Authors Notes;** Bah.. another 89 fic... Aiyaaah, I miss my 38 fandom But lately Gojyo's been leering at me a lot... He's seductive like that... Eep! He winked at me again... ;; actually this is more like a hint at Gojyo x Hakkai, it doesn't quite go into the shonen-ai category

**- - -**

Cho Gonou and Cho Hakkai are like twins, yet as different as the sun and the moon. They're one and the same yet they're worlds apart. Hell I can come up with a thousand ways to compare how similar and different they are, it's in his nature to confuse.

Take his smile for instance. His everlasting smile.

Did you know he has a smile for every occasion? There's the cold smile when he's angry, the melancholic smile, there's a smile for when he's dimly amused, a smile of gratitude, a smile promising torture unless I stop pestering Goku, a warning smile for stupid youkais who think he's weak...The list goes on and on.

Out of all those smiles I have a favourite and a smile I hate the most.

My favourite smile is when he truly lets go of all inhibitions. Those rare times he shines so radiantly that even Sanzo can't help but let a tiny smile of his own to filter through that scowl. He doesn't do this often, but when he does smile like that, I can suddenly see glimpses of the school teacher that Gonou was. I could imagine him smiling like that once upon a time. But then when he smile ends... its like someone took away my sunshine, but for the few seconds it lasted, I felt like I was in heaven. Or maybe somewhere very near to it.

But then there's that other smile. The one I hate.

He has a smile for remembering things he regret, just a tiny quirk that lifts the left side of his mouth just a little higher than the right. Then this haunted looks covers his eyes for a split second before he blanks them up, it's like watching a mask be put on his face. The smile affects the rest of his body as well... there would be a slight slump in his shoulders, barely noticeable really. But I _have_ known this guy for years and seen him 24/7 for most of those years. He'd walk as if he was floating too, like he barely noticed the ground and was just gliding, it sounds awesome... but seriously, it's spooky.

It used to happen frequently, every time it rained it used to kill him just a little bit more. In that respect, he wasn't so different from Sanzo. One's coping with everything with his ever lasting smile and the other likes the scowling alternative better. To be honest I'm kinda glad Sanzo chose to scowl instead of smile. I don't think I could have copped with two never ending smiles.

But I digress.

These days Hakkai's coping better with the rain, he isn't living at the edge of sanity every time it rains anymore. I don't think he's forgetting her though, I figure he finally figured out how to deal with pain. I say it's about time.

Not that I'm being cruel, but it's really not all that healthy for someone to smile so much and not mean it quite as much.

Sanzo, Goku and even Hakkai himself will probably freak out on how thought I've actually put into Hakkai's smiles, but they are interesting. I mean, who knew that so many meanings can come from a smile? And it's not like I'm the only one who's noticed that Hakkai smile constantly. Sometimes I wonder if he ever gets a tick from curving his mouth upwards so much.

You know what, this might sound weird... but I've been thinking about his honest, carefree smile more and more. I keep hoping to catch glimpses of it even though I know it's useless to hope that he'll give that smile suddenly. But you never know...

Maybe... Maybe one of these days he'll smile that radiant smile of his more often than not, maybe one of these days he'll learn to show what he truly feels. A smile is a smile, I guess. It's better than nothing, so I'll take what I can. But maybe... maybe one day, I'll make him smile sincerely.

-End-


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